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Understanding developmental stages is essential to good parenting. Children have different timetables for their development. Although each child has his or her own individual growth timetable, all children go through stages.
Here are checklists of traits of the different stages. Looking them over will give you a sneak preview of what is to come if your child is still a baby; if your child is older, it should help give you some idea of normal development. Remember, though, that children do have many individual differences in the way they develop.
One-Year-Olds
Children around the age of one year grow and change so rapidly that it is somewhat difficult to describe them. But by the first birthday, most children:
Identify and react to the emotions of others
Play games like pattycake and peekaboo
Sit up without support
Say mama and dada; imitate sounds
Recognize their own name
Wave bye-bye
Crawl, may walk
Have no sense of caution
Pull themselves up to standing position
Feed themselves small pieces of food or crackers
Show interest in other children
Two-Year-Olds
While two-year-olds are at one of the very cutest stages, they can be a real trial to live with. This is the age of transition between infancy and childhood. Twos are struggling to be independent, yet they are still very dependent. They may appear to understand things that they really don't, thus seeming defiant. There is no good or bad two-year-old. They are "good" when they happen to feel like doing what we want them to do and "bad" when they don't.
Parents must learn to maneuver skillfully around children this age. The trick is to get them to want to do what we want. When they balk at doing something, try to turn into a game.
General traits of two-year-olds are:
Assert independence
Demand attention
Favorite word is "No!"
Prone to tantrums, hitting, and biting
Easily distracted
Self-centered and possessive
Still do not really play with other children for long periods
Need help dressing and undressing
Affectionate
May develop fears
Walk well, constantly on the go
Can jump
Can throw a ball
Appetite may fall off sharply
Learn many new words
Adorable, although for some this may be only when they are asleep
Three-Year-Olds
Children are learning to do more things for themselves. This helps them feel independent. Children want to please their parents, particularly from around age three and a half through puberty. It is critical that they be able to please you. If you are too difficult to please, they give up and become rebellious or withdrawn.
General traits of three-year-olds are:
Still say no a lot, but are becoming a bit more cooperative (Some children, however, hit their most obstinate stage at three or three and a half.)
Favorite word now is "Why?"
Attention span is increasing
Begin to play with other children
Active imagination; may enjoy imaginary playmate
Can repeat short nursery rhymes and understand simple stories
Speak in short sentences
Learning to share and wait for their turn
Imitate others
Want to please parents if relationship is good
Very active; large motor skills developing rapidly
Small motor skills (such as using a pencil or crayons) begin to improve
Can build a tower of blocks
Getting neater at mealtime, but still lots of spills
Need help in dressing
Can wash and dry hands and face
May develop a slight stutter
Four-Year-Olds
In general, four-year-olds are easier to manage than are twos and threes unless you have become locked into a power struggle. Although many fours will not use the defiant "NO" to every directive, they will often find other ways to resist parental authority. Dawdling and "deafness" are simply passive ways to assert their independence.
General traits of four-year-olds are:
Quite verbal; able to express themselves in words, complete sentences, and conversations
Ask constant questions
Attention span is longer than at age three
Still very imaginative
Recognize colors (Caution: Some children are color-blind.)
Can match sizes, shapes, and colors
Play well with other children
Boss and criticize others
May be afraid of the dark, thunder, animals, etc.
Enjoy dramatic play-puppets, dolls, dress-up, cars, etc.
Learning right from left
Love physical activity
Can go up and down a short ladder
Throw balls overhand
Balance is good
Can dress alone, manage buttons and shoelaces, and may be able to zip and snap
Able to cut with scissors
Begin to form letters, sometimes backwards
Five-Year-Olds
General traits of five-year-olds are:
Can speak clearly
Memory improving
Attention span longer than at age four
Generally cooperative and reliable
Want to help
Count well
Can learn own phone number and address
Play cooperatively with friends
Want to fit in and feel accepted
Very curious
Gaining in self-control
Sensitivity to others is increasing
Still have fears
Can print own name
Can retell stories and make up stories
Have good balance and physical coordination
Able to work with tools (learn to use hammer, garden tools, etc.)
Beginning to tie shoelaces
REMEMBER: These are just guidelines. Children develop at their own pace. If you are concerned that your child is having problems, you should talk to your pediatrician or contact your local school district. There is nothing to be ashamed of if a child helps special help in order to progress at his or her own best rate.
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